You are Not your Thoughts
As a therapist, I hear from a lot of people how difficult it is for them to separate from their emotions and thinking patterns (which is a very common experience).
It takes a lot of practice to learn how to separate from what is happening from your internal world just enough, so you are aware of how your thoughts, feelings, behaviors are connected and impacting your life but not enough where they become obsessive or in a way that you feel your thoughts have taken over.
I love to speak about cognitive distortions in my sessions because every person has them and being able to identify what is happening for you, will then allow you to address it and practice a skill or a thought-reframe to take away it’s power.
Examples of Cognitive Distortions:
Black and White Thinking (all or nothing) “It’s always this way or it’s never going to happen)
Discounting the positives in a situation
Jumping to conclusions (already looking at the outcome as a fact even though the event didn’t take place yet)
Should Statements, such as “It should have happened that way” or “I should go out tonight
Catastrophizing, for example only seeing the worst possible outcome of a situation
What to Do After Identifying Cognitive Distortions:
Look at the evidence you have, to help you think through a situation from start to finish. For example, the evidence you have that whatever you are worrying about most likely won’t come true or the evidence that even if it does come true it is something you can handle.
Challenge your thoughts, if the situation did come true what is the worst thing that could happen.
Reframe your thoughts into more neutral ones.
Use deep breathing to calm down your central nervous system and allow you to pause and not react based on the emotion you are experiencing.
Journal about your thoughts and feelings and ask yourself, “How many other times have I felt this way and what is the most likely outcome here?”
I know that cognitive distortions and the symptoms that come with it can be difficult to manage but our brains are truly wired to protect us, where we get into trouble is when our brain is being overactive in situations that don’t align with what is going on at the current moment. Be gentle with yourself, you deserve the same kindness you give to others on a regular basis.
